Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
