I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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