ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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