It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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