I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
