Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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