We won't sleep together?
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
