You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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