Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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