She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
