she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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