If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
