Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
