just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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