I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
