she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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