So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
