dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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