I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
one might say we're banned from that church
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The adults are the big ones right?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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