i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
