Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just had sex bonerless
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
