He told me they were just razor bumps!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
