Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
