I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
