Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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