i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
