Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
