You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
