Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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