...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
