dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
