Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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