Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
