I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
