i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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