So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
