Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
