So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Randomize
