You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
