How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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