I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
