Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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