Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
