I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
