The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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