I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
