She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
