We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
