Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
They took my balls.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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