i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
